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Mai Kar Kyaa rahaa Hoo?
Pravin
Gandhi wrote these lines at a time of intense mental turmoil. He had left a
job that he held for 15 years, out of sheer ennui; after the loss of
brother in mid-life; and with nothing more than a general desire to get
off the bus and to do the things that he was passing up. Still, he
found himself going through all the motions that he knew very well.
Dilli ki sardi mey
Ghoomtaa
Exhibition ke praangan mey
Firtaa
Open air auditorium ki
sidiyon par
Baithaa
Suit boot aur tie
pahenaa
Suraj ki ek kiran ki
phikki dhoop
Letaa
Chintit nahin
Magar sochtaa jaroor hoo
Ki mai kar kyaa rahaa hoo
Logo se miltaa hoo
Baatey badi kartaa hoon
Meri aaspaas standard
dialog suntaa hoo
Presentation,
demonstration, aur sales talk ke ghisey pitey dialog suntaa hoo
Aur Mere woh din yaad
karta hoo
"Futile-Hai" ka
anubhav kartaa hoo.
Uff, yeh kohra, kab
hathegaa
Dilli se, aur mere man se.
Frontier Mail ke
un-reserved dibbey mey
Baithaa
Asankhya Bharat vaasiyo ke
bich
Dabaa
Kisi ke bacchey ko goad
mey
Samhaley
Khirki se lahraati dharti
ko
nihaartey
Utar kar kho jaanaa
chahtaa hoo
Sochtaa hoo
Ki mai yahaa kar kyaa
rahaa hoo
Ghar waapas
Aa key
Computer ke aag-ey
baithey
Apneko phir uljhano ke
beech
paatey
Achaanak keyboard se haath
uthaatey
Fed-up ho jataa hoon
Aur sochta hoo
Ki
mai kar kya rahaa hoo
- Pravin Gandhi, Dec 1995
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